Vampires and the Valley Of Darkness
The streets are empty
The night is deep
The beetles buzz
And white owls weep
Here he comes
Here he comes
Over the valley, through the rain
Flying, stopping and flying again
The night is deep
The beetles buzz
And white owls weep
Here he comes
Here he comes
Over the valley, through the rain
Flying, stopping and flying again
Someone mutely whispers in her ears,
Her deep eyes filled up with tears.
The room is empty, devoid of light.
She was alone in that bemused night.
Her deep eyes filled up with tears.
The room is empty, devoid of light.
She was alone in that bemused night.
The streets are empty
The night is deep
The beetles buzz
And white owls weep
Here he comes
Here he comes
Over the valley, through the rain
Flying, stopping and flying again
The night is deep
The beetles buzz
And white owls weep
Here he comes
Here he comes
Over the valley, through the rain
Flying, stopping and flying again
She wakes up, wears her gown
Walks in her corridor
She moves with passion
She dances like a bird in the breeze…
The streets are empty
The night is deep
The beetles buzz
And white owls weep
Here he comes
Here he comes
Over the valley, through the rain
Flying, stopping and flying again
The night is deep
The beetles buzz
And white owls weep
Here he comes
Here he comes
Over the valley, through the rain
Flying, stopping and flying again
She kisses herself, touches her lips
Plays with her curls
She moves her body like a dream…
I am the vampire and you are my prey tonight…
She whispers in his ears.
In the valley of darkness, there are no vampires
There are only ardent lovers…
aawwwww.......maaannn.......that was the sweeetest vampire love story...
ReplyDeletereminded me of Twilight for a moment...
simply marvelous..
//She moves with passion
She dances like a bird in the wind…//
brilliant verse this one...
//In the valley of darkness, there are no vampires
There are only passionate lovers…//
OH maaannn.. this was too good.. the perfect ending...
Thanks dear :)
ReplyDeleteEerie at first and comforting finally ;)
ReplyDeleteLove is all about comfort I guess :)
ReplyDeleteoh!!God...is this supposed to b a poem...usage of metaphor r irrelevant...the idea is sketchy...framing needs a lot of extra effort...rythm is nt ur style though but cud hv kept verses nd lines in mind...but overall a good try...
ReplyDeleteok...now this footnote makes sense...but use proper metaphors...and pay a little attention to ur framing...
ReplyDeleteDear Friend, why do you put footnotes for poems?
ReplyDeleteYour idea sounds very childish in poetic language, but prose sounds fine.
Footnotes can be distracting. Right? Actually someone suggested me to include footnotes in this poem. However, if you feel it's diminishing the value of this childish poem than you can reply. Sometimes it feels great to write like a child. Maturity can be mundane. What do you say? I don't know my poem is good or bad but the fact is that I have written something that I felt. I have tried to use the simplest possible words here. It's not a childish or immature poem for me. It's a simple poem with simple metaphors. Feel free to comment because I love vivid interpretations.
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Pallav
An example:
ReplyDeleteThe streets are empty
The night is deep
The beetles buzz
And white owls weep
Here he comes
Here he comes
Over the valley, through the rain
Flying, stopping and flying again
Blessings
Sounds great to me. Can I use them? :)
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteI ve just read all the previous messages and I am amazed at seeing how many people comment on your poems and how they do so ...
I feel poetry ought to be childlike (not to be confused with 'childish' which I find pejorative).Only a young heart can be true and genuine to emotions and feelings. A poem is not to be assessed as good or bad, it speaks to ones while will remain mute to others
... still some people are forever deaf !
French reader ( anonymous yet always signing comments)
With pleasure, it's your poem afterall. I believe that creativity is to be shared and made richer.
ReplyDeleteThe streets are empty
ReplyDeleteThe night is deep
The beetles buzz
And white owls weep
Here he comes
Here he comes
Over the valley, through the rain
Flying, stopping and flying again
whoever it is..really nice...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletegood add on, here comes the 2nd stanza...
ReplyDeleteSomeone mutely whispers in her ears,
Her deep blue eyes filled up with tears.
The room is empty, devoid of light.
She was alone in that dark night.
Someone mutely whispers in her ears,
ReplyDeleteHer deep eyes filled up with tears.
The room is empty, devoid of light.
She was alone in that bemused night.
I don't know about others, but I loved the contrast, irrespective of the rules of poetry. Dark and romantic. BTW, that's what Verse Libré is for. :D
ReplyDelete