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Sublingual Drops of Gloom


Careless winds scratching my cheeks, hands and back endlessly
It’s intruding into my skin without a knock
Creating sounds of melancholy every where,
Thundering through the noiseless corners
Slapping the four walls of my heart…

I am inhaling darkness
I am getting evaporated
The sound of music is creating a unique trance
The voluptuous dancers are calling my name
They are making wine from that beautiful pain…

The light is fading into darkness
The shadows of dead
Are lurking in my veins
The chaos is rising like a volcano
The jungles and valleys
Are shouting my name
I am drinking agony like a thirsty soldier…

The four walls of my living room are biting me
My windowpane is craving for some raindrops
The ugliness is increasing,
The softness is missing….

The insanity is becoming musical
Symphonies of lust getting lyrical
The belly dancers are shouting my name
The sound of music is instigating my fingers

I could see rising smokes
I could see you…
I could see your ghost
I am no more tempted by your unique charm
I am elevated without the thrust
I am flying without those wings
I am no more taking those sublingual drops of gloom…


10 comments:

  1. Amazing.
    Breaking free is just as good as you described it to be.

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  2. Awesome! What I really love about your writing is the number of different and seemingly un-connectible elements that you bring together!

    You sure paint a wonderful picture, always!

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  3. Interesting writing. Simple yet effective.

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  4. good one , though at times seemed a bit disconnected.....dnt mind....!

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  5. @D2...Breaking free is one of the most desired states of mind that everybody craves to attain. You've interpreted my disconnected piece quite well. Thanks for visiting my space.

    @Rakesh...The picture looks always beautiful when it's painted with shades of gray and maroon. The disconnection creates a unique trance sometimes. The nothingness exudes completeness sometimes.

    @Rajesh...Thanks for the comment. Keep visiting

    @just_a_pen_in_my_hand...Yes, it's disconnected. I was actually bit worried about the disconnection while penning but after receiving so many comments, I am surely happy with the detachment :)

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  6. well,i love the way you describe your feelings and the i love the vocabulary you use.but most of whatever you write as poetry isn't poetry for real. it's called poetic prose,and if you were to ask a real poet his genuine feedback about whatever you write,he/she would say that it isn't technically poetry. poetry is short,sweet and very structured. poetry is thoughts packed into very few words.
    i hope you understand. because we all learn from our mistakes. and here on blogger most of the people don't know the technicalities of poetry.so perhaps there was no one to ever correct you.

    you may visit a few online workshops for help and learn.because in the long run if you keep writing like this it might and maybe gain attention on indiblogger or any other blogging community but in the eyes of a poet it will always be unstructured prose.

    i hope you won't take it negatively and try to take it as a chance to learn..

    take care

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  7. I admire honest criticism. I am no poet...I don't follow any technicalities as they look mundane to me. I follow my heart while writing thanks:)

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  8. hi pallav...you write great, straight from heart, its like reading your dream.."Nice"..thanks so much for promoting my post...cheers!

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  9. You are most welcome Vani :-)

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  10. Nice verses....destructed is what I felt it was...a good read in the end !

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